- Forgive us, Uncle Sam

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-  fifo Death Watch

For the second Friday in a row, we were all teased with the possible news that the bearded devil himself, castro, had finally descended into the fiery pits of hell to collect his well-earned eternal punishment. Late this evening, however, it appears that the rumors were just that, rumors, and we must live another day without the satisfaction of knowing that one of the deadliest dictators in modern history is finally gone. It is quite possible, though, that the tyrant has been dead for a while and is a human popsicle hidden in some freezer until raulito and his crew of merry men decide how and when to break the news.

I have always been inclined to believe that raul castro will be very careful releasing the news of his brother’s demise. Besides the fact that communist dictatorships have an intense fetish for controlling every bit of information that is disseminated regarding their governments, I believe it also has a lot to do with baiting any would-be challengers to raul’s power. When the news is eventually released, I do not believe anyone, including the Cuban government, will know for sure what the reaction will be among the population and the lower level leaders in Cuba. For that reason, raul will have to make sure that he has every base covered and that he has people he can trust in the right places at the right times. If the island erupts into chaos, that would be the opportune moment for some obscure (or maybe not so obscure) official to stand up and lead a rebellion against a dictator that is perceived to be infinitely weaker than the brother he replaces.

If such a thing takes place, and raul plays his cards right, he will be in a position to snuff out this potential challenger, or challengers, before they can do any damage to his dictatorship. One mistake, however, and it could mean the end of his very short career as the maximum despot.

If any leaks of information occur, they will be deliberate with the intention of flushing out any potential troublemakers. In the meantime, we will sit back and wait patiently, as we have done for 48 years, and await the news that the bastard’s (literally and figuratively) reign of terror on the Cuban people is finally over.

As I mentioned before, he could be dead already, but nothing less than seeing a bearded cadaver will make it official.

- The Democracy Virus

Ever since Barack Obama made his statements supporting the elimination of the restrictions on Cuban-Americans to travel to Cuba and send money to their relatives still living on the island, we have been bombarded by news stories and editorials supporting the presidential candidate’s ideas. Although he and others have toned down their anti-embargo rhetoric somewhat, Obama’s premise is nothing new—he rehashes the same flawed logic that more interaction with “free” individuals and more influx of hard currency will somehow infect the oppressed Cuban population with the Democracy Virus and bring about the end of totalitarian rule on the island.

This hypothesis, which is the nucleus of almost every embargo detractor’s argument, sounds great on paper: Infect the subjugated population of a communist dictatorship with capitalist ideals and luxuries and sooner, rather than later, the dictatorship will have to enact massive reforms which will eventually lead to a democracy. If only life was so simple.

Millions of tourists from “free” countries have injected tens of billions (if not hundreds) of foreign currency into Cuba’s communist economy. Unless Euros, Pound Notes and Canadian dollars lack this miraculous Democracy Virus that is the cure-all for Cuba’s oppressed masses, I fail to see how US dollars will achieve what hundreds of billions of foreign currency has not. Nevertheless, the Barack Obamas and Chris Dodds of the world continue to promote their faulty plan. The US’s decades long embargo has achieved nothing, they say, so we must do something different. Well, the decades long influx of tourists from democratic countries spending capitalist currency has also achieved nothing. If fact, it has entrenched the despotic regime further by giving it the currency it requires to maintain a police state.

This insistence on replacing the supposedly ineffective US policy towards Cuba with another ineffective policy begs the question: Just what do they hope to achieve by trading with a tyrant? The answer is obvious—more business and more money for American agricultural and tourism industries. And that is just the beginning; imagine how cheaply goods could be produced in Cuban factories using the regime’s slave-labor pool and the incredible savings on shipping. Imagine the revenues Wall Street would generate financing new business ventures on the island. The list of benefits to the US goes on and on, but the list of benefits to the Cuban people still suffering under tyranny remains ominously empty.

At the end of the day, this philosophy of change is not about the cause of freedom for Cuba and it is not about helping an historic friend and neighbor regain its independence and liberty; it is about US interests cashing in. Their portrayal of sincere concern for the plight of the Cuban people is as mythical as the Democracy Virus they claim will save the island.

- Death of a Salesman

The rumors flew across the internet and throughout Miami last night that the wicked witch was finally dead. While we chilled our champagne and prepared to light our cigars, the news never did materialize and we awoke this morning to another day with the tyrant that has held the island of Cuba in a merciless chokehold still in our midst. Although it is quite possible that castro is already enjoying his eternal damnation in hell and suffering a torment greater than even the most imaginative among us could conceive of, we cannot celebrate until the news is official.

We have been fooled in the past by rumors and unofficial news reports touting the demise of the dictator. Whether these reports were planted or the result of a wishful thought gone out of control, the initial elation we all felt soon gave way to a deeper feeling of despair when we realized the reports were false. We are all better off being as patient as we can—not even the wicked one can avoid death.

The Cuban government, in my opinion, will be very careful releasing the eventual news of the tyrant’s death and I have no reason to believe they will do it a minute sooner than they have to. Every detail of the announcement and how it will be released was most likely scripted months, if not years ago, and it will be given first to news organizations that are sympathetic and are willing to play ball with the regime. In death, just as in his life, castro will sell himself as the selfless leader that saved his nation from US imperialism and stood up against the monolithic oppressor to his north. The Cubans who have suffered know better, but he never really cared what Cubans thought of him anyway.

Throughout his entire life, including childhood, castro has sold himself as something he is not. His life is a culmination of lie after lie in an attempt to sell the world a non-existent bill of goods. Why should his death be any different?

Prepare yourselves, my friends, for a well-designed multi-media extravaganza touting the death of one of the most prolific salesmen of our times. The fact that he sold only death and destruction will be mysteriously missing from the eulogies, but those of us who know are only interested in the part that says he is dead!

- A Funny Smell is in the Air

As I read the different news articles regarding Cuba on the net, I am beginning to notice something coming together. Like a well-organized marketing campaign, several stories and editorials have begun circulating throughout the news outlets talking about possible reforms in Cuba and how the US should reevaluate its position and the embargo. Val, over at Babalublog has taken notice and aptly refers to this cleansing of the castro dictatorship as Absolutionizing, in reference to castro’s often quoted blurb, “History will absolve me.”

The US, as well as the international media has always been teeming with castro apologists, but this is looking more and more like a collaborative effort. In news that came out yesterday, a second political prisoner in Cuba was released: Lazaro Gonzalez Adan. In another story out today from the UK, Ricardo Alarcon is quoted as being open to talks with the US to normalize relations, but only on communist Cuba’s terms, Alarcon reiterated. The article then went on to discuss the changes that had to happen in America’s politics, not the repressive Cuban dictatorship’s politics, to make these talks happen.

Now, let us combine the release of a second political prisoner in a matter of a week (which don’t get me wrong, that’s good—we’ll take it anyway we can) with Alarcon’s remarks, and then we throw into the potaje raulito’s so-called olive branch in his July, 26, 2007 speech. For that spicy kick, we add the unusually large amount of anti embargo/pro normalizing relations editorials that have been coming out lately and then heat it up a bit.

You smell that? It stinks, doesn’t it?

How much coordination is going on between the media and Cuba’s communist leadership? I really have no idea, but if it smells like crap, it usually is crap. As Val said in his post, I think we are going to be hearing some big news really soon and they are setting up the landscape. The strategy has already been decided and put into motion.

There is an old folk tale that states that a frog thrown into a pot of boiling water will jump out to escape. But if the same frog is placed into a pot of tepid water and the pot is heated gradually, the frog will be dead before it realizes what happened.

Is it getting hot here or is it me?

- The Truth and Nothing but the Truth

All too often, the atrocities committed in Cuba by castro and his thugs has been marginalized by the American public as an internal issue. It is easy to classify the inhumane conditions caused by the infamous revolution as simply a disagreement between Cubans who want communism and those that do not. This is the viewpoint that the mass media supplies the public, making it that much easier for those who have no interest in Cuba to ignore the inconvenient truths. 

I have always said that the struggle between castro’s regime and the Cubans who have fought so diligently against him and his totalitarianism for almost half a century has nothing to do with ideology and everything to do with basic human rights and liberty. Even so, the mainstream media continues to feed the public the talking points generated by Cuba’s communist propaganda machine that paints the issue as an “us vs. them” situation instead of exposing the realities of castro’s gross violations of human rights.  

Cubans that will accept nothing less than freedom for their country are described as intransigents. The dictatorship that has raped and plundered an entire nation, however, is described as poor victims suffering because of the US’s outdated foreign policy. 

Claudia Fanelli has written an outstanding essay, “I Could Never be a Cuban,” that shows us that there are non-Cubans out there that get it. This is a great example of how we must never give up and never give in. It is a fine essay and I highly recommend you take the time to read it.

If we were not making inroads in getting the truth out about Cuba’s reality, the castro regime would not be devoting so many resources to try and silence and discredit us.

- Hasta La Vista, Baby! 

Joseph C. Phillips has written a great article regarding one of the Governator’s director's choice in office décor. He also does an excellent job of pointing out who ché guevara really was.

What happened, Arnold? I thought you were a big fan of freedom, justice and the American way. What kind of people do you have working for you that would sport a ché mouse pad? Has your office been taking decorating tips from Cameron Diaz or is the Butcher of La Cabaña’s mug around just to add some revolutionary je ne sais quoi?

Like most people, I enjoyed watching Arnold on the big screen and applauded his rise to the governorship of one of the most liberal states in the country as a Republican. Sure, as soon as he got into office, he has leaned so far to the left that he has to hold a 50 lb. dumbbell in his right hand just to keep from falling over. Nonetheless, I never expected a man who so vocally extolled the virtues of freedom and liberty to have people working for him that are either so ignorant, or so insensitive as to find a ché mouse pad, chic.

- Café con Leche

Being a Cuban, although frustrating at times, has some wonderful benefits. One of those benefits is café con leche. While I was growing up, I did not know of one Cuban household where café con leche was not served in the morning. From the moment a Cuban child graduates from formula, café con leche is poured into the baby bottle and given to them every morning.  

Café con leche is a pretty simple concoction; you take heated milk, add some Cuban coffee, lots of sugar, and a dash of salt. Do not ask me what the salt is for, I have never been able to figure that one out. But you cannot have authentic café con leche without a dash of salt. Some people prefer to add it to the already mixed coffee and milk, and others, like my mother, would add it to the milk she poured into the pot to heat the milk on the stove for the entire family. That is another thing, too; it is not real café con leche if you heat in a microwave. Maybe it is all in my head, but milk heated in a microwave just does not taste the same. You can heat the milk with one of those steam vents like the restaurants use if you have one of those fancy espresso machines, which falls within the café con leche rules and regulations, but for that home taste, you have to use a thin tin pot on a stove.  

A true Cuban household has to have at least one thin tin pot in the cupboard for the making of the morning café con leche. In addition, it has to be the replacement of at least two or three pots that melted into the burner when someone left the heating milk unattended. As a kid, I found the charred black melted metal disk with a pot handle sticking out hilarious. My mother, however, never found it that funny. 

Sometimes, when lady luck would glance my way, we would run out of sugar and my mother would be forced to use leche condensada (sweetened condensed milk) to sweeten the drink. Now that, my friends, is a real treat. If you have never had café con leche sweetened with leche condensada, you have not lived! 

As simple and easy as the recipe is, one question, however, has haunted me for as long as I can remember: Why is it that café con leche never tasted the same at someone else’s house? 

No matter where I could be—a friend’s house for a sleepover, a relative’s home, the neighbor’s house—their café con leche always tasted completely different. I am not saying it tasted bad, but it just did not taste like my mother’s café con leche. 

Perhaps it was the salt. Or, perhaps it was the spirit of the many tin pots whose lives were ended prematurely by my mother’s inattention adding character to the morning drink. To this day, I have yet to find the answer. And to make the riddle all the more maddening, I have never been able to match my mother’s café con leche in my own home.

- The Good Ole' Days

A couple of weeks ago, a visit from out-of-town relatives prompted the obligatory driving tour of Miami. We toured the Gables, Brickell Avenue, Downtown Miami, and South Beach. I saved the best for last, though. Coming back across the causeway from the beach, I exited on NW 27th Avenue and headed south to Calle Ocho and Little Havana. It had been quite a while since I had driven down 8th street and the ride brought back a flood of memories.

Growing up on 10th street and 27th avenue, the area was home to my old stomping grounds. Calle Ocho provided me and the other kids from the neighborhood everything we needed. On our bikes or skateboards, we would ride up and down Calle Ocho looking for adventure and tempting fate by traveling beyond the boundaries stipulated by our parents. Since this was the Little Havana of the seventies, practically every Cuban living in the area knew each other and every time we traveled further east than 22nd avenue, we risked being spied and immediately reported for the infraction. Nevertheless, not a summer vacation day went by that we did not risk it all and cross the forbidden avenue.

Before embarking on our illegal trek east, we would stop at the Cuban bakery between 24th and 25th avenues, across the street from the Kwik Chek (“kwi che,” as my mother would pronounce it and later on, when they changed the name to Winn-Dixie, “weeng deeksi”). For less than a dollar, we all snacked on what I swear to be the best Cuban bread and pastelitos de guayaba that to this day, I have tasted.

Once we made our clandestine crossing of 22nd avenue, which usually meant running or biking as fast as we could across the avenue to minimize our exposure out in the open, we headed straight to La Casa de los Trucos. This store had (and still has) every trick gadget, rubber mask, and costume you could imagine. More importantly, though, it had items we could set fire to. From firecrackers to smoke bombs, we would all pool our money together and buy as many as we could and return home to torture the younger kids on the block and learn first-hand that lighting a smoke bomb in a closed room is not a very good idea.

A couple of blocks from La Casa de los Trucos stood the Tower Theater. It was there that I saw my first Bruce Lee movie, Fists of Fury, and fell in love with the whole Kung-Fu movie genre. Many Saturday afternoons were spent at the Tower Theater watching the double and sometimes triple features of what I realize now to be low-budget, hokey martial arts films. Neither my friends nor I really cared though. We would exit the theater throwing kicks and punches and arguing whether a human could really defy gravity and fly across the air kicking two dozen assailants across the face before landing on the ground.

At the risk of sounding like my parents and grandparents, I must say that those were the good ole’ days; innocence prevailed and the worst fear any of us had was that one of the firecrackers we purchased would turn out to be a dud. The ride down Calle Ocho on that day brought back memories that I will forever cherish.

- The Middle Ground

An article published today in the New York Times, the home of such perceptive and honest journalists as Herbert Matthews, Jayson Blair, and Frank Rich, brings us the story of a group of Cuban musicians and intellectuals that have chosen Madrid as their place of exile. Surprisingly, the story mentions how some of these individuals (not all of them, the writer is sure to point out—there is at least one, Chucho Valdés, that travels back and forth to communist Cuba) left Cuba seeking freedom of expression. The reason they chose Madrid over the United States—Miami to be exact—was due to the extreme political atmosphere they would encounter among the Cuban exiles here.

As a matter of fact, both communist Cuba and Miami are described as being equally intolerable to these intellectuals. Although at polar opposites, both locations, according to the writer and the Cubans in the article, force the performers and intellectuals to make a political choice. Madrid, however, allows them to exist and live in ambiguity.

Boris Larramendi sums it up well with this quote:

Well, Mr. Larramendi, I am sorry to inject a little reality into your otherwise ambiguous existence in Madrid, but when it comes to life or death, freedom or slavery, there is no middle ground.

- ebay loves the ché

Artie and Omar from cubanazos.com have been going back forth with ebay regarding the ché dolls and puppets being offered for auction on their sight that violate their own published guidelines. As I mentioned in my previous post regarding this topic, Bid on your piece of depraved history, I would never advocate infringing on anyone's right to peddle garbage in an effort to make a buck as long as they stay within the confines of the law. However, ebay's own guidelines prohibit the sale of items that groups may find offensive. I just want Cubans to be afforded the same respect and consideration that blacks, Jews, Muslims, and virtually all other minority groups receive in this country.

From the response Artie and Omar received from ebay, it is apparent that the feelings and the sensibilities of the Cuban community are not all that important to them. The response they received basically said that ebay was aware they were offended, but they were not going to do anything about it. You can read it for yourself below:

Personally, I am sick and tired of the Cuban-American community being treated as if we did not exist and did not have a voice. If you haven't signed the petition yet, please do so now HERE. In addition, please take the time and send chébay an e-mail detailing your disgust regarding their refusal to recognize the offensive nature of the items they are allowing to be sold on their site. You can visit this page on ebay and let them know how you feel and that we're not going to go away.